Christmas Parties and Big Gobbed blokes

Why do men have a few beers and then think that everything they say is 1. the most important thing ever 2. Barely understandable and 3. Has the capability to get you into shit.

Works parties for example, let’s take Christmas. My charming colleague, let call him Jason, thought that it would be completely appropriate for him to bitch about the bosses to another colleague, let call her Louise, and state how absolutely crap they were at their jobs and how he had no respect for them.

And why do men have this big gobbed way of saying it when the boss is stood directly behind them. Good Work Jason.

But good old Jason takes it one step further than this, thinking as we are friends, as well as colleagues, it ok to run his hand over my arse.

He thinks it’s ok to tell me how ' we are going to sleep together, it’s just a matter of time' and to say things that he probably shouldn’t say.....not because i am offended, cos really I couldn’t give a shit...but because we work in an office where gossip and drama is the difference between having a job, or not. And he does this when the boss is behind us.

So the day first day back after the Christmas party and low and behold Jason is pulled into the office....and given a grilling. He is also told that he followed me around like lap dog and that other colleagues were taking the piss by coming up to us and making him jealous.

The problem with this you see, is that the guy who was coming up and 'taking the piss' , let’s call him, Ben, is the guy I am totally lusting after (and facebook stalking, as you do) and also the guy I drunken facebook messaged that night. So not only has my friend Jason made himself and me look like a dick, he has screwed with my chances of getting laid by Ben.

So with Jason being of no help, it’s time to plan and manipulate my way into Bens pants....I mean life....So friend...time to put into action the first secrets and lies of 2010....

Watch this space....a plan has been hatched.....

New Year....Old Secrets

So for the first blog of 2010 I am happy to to confide in you, my new friend. 2009 was a tough year, not only because of the economic crisis, but because I told more lies and had more secrets than ever before....things I wasn't even able to share with my closest friends.

Let me give you a little history so you can understand how I got here and why I am happy to be single...

One year ago I broke up with my long term boyfriend of 5 years. I loved him and was heart broken, even though I had cheated on him only months before.....so as you do when heart broken, I turned to the bottle. Actually it was more like SEVERAL bottles.

I lost my job because of the recession, but I was too drunk and heart broken to care. And that's when the lying started. I didn't tell anyone I was unemployed, I pretended all was ok....as I slumped further and further in to an alcohol fuelled depression.

I didn't leave my apartment, unless it was to make a trip to the 'hole in the wall' to stock up. I didn't get dressed most days, ordered take away when I was hungry and asked neighbours to pick a few things up from the supermarket when they could....I was too busy at work to do it myself....or so I said

I didn't step outside my house for 4 weeks....I had put on 5 kg.....was bloated, miserable, unemployed and eternally unhappy.

Then something clicked....I was 'cured' My heart didn't hurt....I wanted to re-enter the world...but this time i was going to enter it on MY terms....I was going to live my life the way I wanted to live it....and i haven't looked back...